| weee this is fun |
[Aug. 23rd, 2004|09:31 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  writing kicks | ] |
| [ | music |
| | i dont cair, la la la l a la la lla writing rocks | ] |
School rocks. This is no exaggeration. I have found that now that I am back in school I am out of my blue funk. I have had such a fun day. For the first time in a long time I was really pumped about one of my classes. That class is my poetry workshop. And if I loved that so much then wow what is my fiction workshop going to be like. Well things here have been much better. I had a spat with Amy but that is behind me now and frankly I want nothing to do with all that right now. I have chosen to drop all of this like a rock. I tried to cope the way that would be best for Amy but as me and the big D were talking about, this is just not the way that I need to deal with it for me. So I am just going to deal with it the way I want to deal with it. So I am dropping all of this like a rock. I don’t care any more. What will be will be, however I am making no special allotments any more. Mind you that does not mean that I am dropping Amy like a rock. I am not saying that I am just destroying any relationship with Amy either. I have stopped being supered careful about every thing. I am sick of it and are last spat made me realize how it is just unhealthy for me now days. So that is that. What that means I do not fully understand yet.
Oh I am writing poetry now. I am a much better short story writer but I have found that I do like writing poetry. I do not know if I will fall in love with the experience but I will see.
Well I got to go but join us next time and hear the down cast room mate say “ if my room were to hypothetically burn down will my rent drop?” |
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| ummm well cant think of a subject |
[Aug. 17th, 2004|11:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  well first day on the job | ] |
| [ | music |
| | You aint never had a friend like me. | ] |
Well today has been a good day. I gave three phone interviews of the calling center. I made the original call back about a week ago or such. The second call was today and the same for the third. I hope that I will get the job and then I can gain another one to accompany it for more hours. There is no way that I could sustain my self on merely 15 to twenty hours at minimum wage. I think that I am going to try for some night security jobs as well. The one job that I hope to get is the jack and Jill’s donut job.
On another note, I have found the perfect fidget item. For all of you who need something to do with your hands at all time. I have found what is called a worry ring. This ring is built with one ring in another. The inner ring twirls in the outer one. It helps me in two ways. If I am worried or board in a situation that entertainment is not near then I have my ring and for a person with a simple mind such as mine the ring is quite entertaining. The other thing that it helps me to do is to stay focused on writing. Some times when I am thinking I get up to do something while thinking and then I stop thingking and just start doing whatever it is I got up to do. Now with this ring I have found that I can sit infront of the computer and still do something while I think and when I am done thinking I am still in front of the computer. Yaaaa ingenious.
There is a big draft tournament this weekend and I cant wait. We.
Join us next time and hear the beffudled parametics say, “ Well this is quite the mess there is fox strewned as far as the eye can see. Well lets get started this could take some time.”
oh by the way Daniel's cat is temping while the fox is in rehab. i will update his progress, it apears that the fox and the avatar got in a skuff and it was unfortunetly injured. but dont worry he was wisked away to the emergancy room where he is presently being monatered with two broken ribs and a crushed feamer. the docters say there is hope but it will take time. |
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| mmmm back into a groove |
[Aug. 16th, 2004|02:28 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  mmmmm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | no, none sorry | ] |
Well the summer is almost over. I do not know what I am going to be doing this week besides kicking the job search into over gear. Things have been going well and I am thinking of starting a monthly story that will have a posting hear. I have some friends that are helping me with that, however I do not know when that will be operational.
On another not you will notice that I have a picture in the corner. Isn’t it so cute? Well the D man hooked me up with some. I have one for winter one for autumn and one for when I am on vacation. He is a blue wear wolf. Actually he is Takbain from Dark Stalkers. Anyhow, since I am on vacation the summer one is up but that will change soon.
Well the vacation at Justin’s did me well. I am refreshed. I am riding the wave of Gods blessings. I have decided to count my blessings every day. So every day I will have a different thing to be thankful for. To day is Heaven. Why because I am going there. It matters little what happens hear on earth for I cannot attain any thing grater then what I already have and that is a place with the Lord. So no matter what comes my way it will not separate me from God. See Romans chapter 8: 28- Ch 9:1. Well that is the blessing for to day. Tomarrow will be something entirely different.
Join us next time and hear the cute little fox in the mood space say “ what another form of self expression. Buddy this journal post is not big enough for the two of us. Prepare for mortal combat. Keeee Yaaa” |
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| man i think that i sliped a groov |
[Aug. 12th, 2004|11:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Zzzzz | ] |
| [ | music |
| | whu hu? some one turn that down | ] |
well hay how goes the world. well i locked my keys in my car to day and i needed Amy to go and unlock it. that was quite the expedition. i did however get to meat one of my dear friends who i have not seen in a long time while i was there. and ironically i had gotten done telling him about the last time that i had locked my keys in the car and then not but ten minuets later i locked my keys in the car. well if that was not enough i went then through the drive through in burger king and payed and left. i had to go back and get my food. other then that i think that every thing has been working as planed. i hope. oh and i have started on chapter four. i am a bit stuck on one part.
join us next time and hear the pickled irish man say " if i wanted you to stop pouring i would have passed out." sorry i have been lissoning to too much Flogging Molly |
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| well hear it is. |
[Aug. 11th, 2004|11:05 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  awww look it is a cute fox | ] |
| [ | music |
| | more floggin molly | ] |
well i have finoly gotten this up. it is all spell checked so you can breath easy. any ways hear it is. this peace is called memorial tree. it is a peace that i entered under the topic remanising. this peace deals with me and some of my past, to be exact it deals with the death of my grand mother. most of this is metiforical but that is ok it is farly easy to understand. well any ways read and tell me what you think.
( Read more... ) |
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| ahhhhh well i am feeling better |
[Aug. 10th, 2004|11:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ahhhhh | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Drunken Lullabies... yaaa | ] |
there is little that this title does not explain about this post. i have finely sat down and i have gotten better thanks to the Lord. I rairly have found time for God in my life but this must change and in fact it is as we speak. it is good to breath in again. i am not completley better. i think i still need to go see a doctor to see if i can fix these mood swings. some things in life are better left with no explanation nor finality.i have so many problems due to worring and this is because i worry about things that can not be answered. i find that i heart my self looking for reasons and rimes to things that in fact have no real rime or reason. heh it is amazing to see all that i get up tight about.
well my room mate the big D is not in so i could not get my writing peace up to night like i had hoped. but i will get it up there.i am feeling much better i feal an excitment for the futcher well some what. i still have some dreds but i still have that glimps up into the blinding light of the sun as life shines down on me. all i ask it to bask in it rays. i do not know what the futcher holds but i cant wait for it. espesoly if it involves large wads of money and me being published and widly recognized as a fiction writer. mmmm day dreaming. any ways i am just rammboling on.
oh hay i got the first floging molly cd. the second is better but i do like some of the songs on the first one. so go out and look it up. if you like all things celtic then you may in fact like it.
join us next time and hear the druged publisher say. " what since when did i sign on this fiction novel to are list. and how did i get this head ake." |
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| ooooh boy |
[Aug. 9th, 2004|12:31 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | like a streem through a forist | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the clacking of the keyboards up in the library | ] |
well things have appeard to have gotten worse in my life. i have reached a braking point. i can no longer keep my sanity. in light of resent events i have made my way to the docters and a tharipist boath concer that i have general angsioty disorder. what does that mean Gab? well i will tell you. it means that i cant sleep i have no energy during the day. i have had troubles breathing. i have mood swings and the list continues on and on. well so why do you have this Gab? well that is because of many reasons. in fact my personality type does not need a reason. i just do. So what can you do about it? well there is medicen but i will be darned if thay put me on that. i now take walks during the morning around 7 and i eat better and i am trying to realy finde a job. i have had no will power as of the last couple of months to do this. i have been caring the wait of the world for about 8 months and it finoly crushed me in one decisive insodnet and due to the blow that i aqqired from this i decided that something had to change. i have started to read scripture on a reguler basis. and i am getting home at about 9 in the evening now. i will need many praires for this because this is going to be a big step but it is somthing that i must do. any ways other then that things are going well.
join us next time and hear the elephent say " PHHEEEEEEEEE..... what do you realy expect me to talk?" |
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| the day of conquest |
[Aug. 4th, 2004|04:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  party party party | ] |
| [ | music |
| | austin strum on the gitar, he is learning some aurosmith | ] |
hazad for to day i will seize the very essence of life and when i bellow essence of life i mean not sleep for that my friend is but for fit for this grandiose night of D&D. for tonight at my house i shall entertain but a mear 7 of the best gamers i have found over the years or at least throughs that could show up, and as a sending off gift for my dear friend Jason we shall play untill five in the morning.
oh on a liter note i have sent off my peace as an entry into the writing competition that the guild hear in abilene is so graciously hosting. i will have this peace up soon when i can corner Danial to help me with the html because i know absolutley nothing about things like that. i dont know but i feel dumb when i am doing any thing besides writing on the computer. i did not know how to open a new window and austin had to show me. man i need some computer classes. any ways. talk to you next time. eeeeee fun night to night.
join us next time to hear the avid gamer say " i want to cast magic missle at the darkness" |
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| wasps |
[Aug. 2nd, 2004|10:20 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hmm to day is a good day. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the price is right theme music | ] |
well yesterday was an interesting day. i found that singing oldies around wasp nests has an adverse effect. i was airing up my tires on sunday when i started back and sining " don't pull your love out on me baby" i do not know who sings it but i like that song. any ways it would appear that the wasps do not. i was walking under there nest when on decided to stop the insanity and stung me on the back of the neck. well i have been stung by scorpions many times but this is the first time i have ever been stung by a wasp. luckily for me i am not allergic to wasp stings they just heart like all get out.
well Kara came down for the week. it was fun. i did not get to see her as much as i would have liked to but that is ok. i know that she had fun and that is what she came to do. i just wish that she did not hafto endure the asma attack. it was a bad attack to. but thank the Lord that she is fine now. any ways all in all i must admit that it was a good week. we all enjoyed the movie I Robot the last day. it was a fun movie. amazingly the previews did not give away the plot to the extent that i thought thay would.
join us next time and hear the elvis impersonator say while at a bee growers conventions " Little sister dont you goAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" |
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| a good day |
[Jul. 25th, 2004|11:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  la la la | ] |
| [ | music |
| | no not realy but thank you. | ] |
wow to day was a good day. i got to see my sister and sit and talk with her. i have not seen her in so long. i only see her maby once twice a year. she came down to eat with my parents and then to come by my place before she left. we talked and talked and i lost track of time and missed evening church. though that is sad i was able to catch up on many things. other then this i did not have any real stuff to do. other then all this i have been rather well mundane this weekend. i need to get on the computer and print up every thing for submission and i need to do it tomorrow or I will miss the dead line.
join us next time and hear the computer say " hay now stop poking me" |
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| hmmm yet another party |
[Jul. 25th, 2004|12:14 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | hehe beast master is funny | ] |
| [ | music |
| | aerosmith the big ones | ] |
i have had an interesting day. i had hoped to write yet i was not in the mood when i woke this morning. i did however get the chance to meditate in what will soon be the garden. well when ever i fix it up. well i have had a fun time today. I got some walking in when i went to Austins party. it was a fun party to. i like the fact that we had cheese cake instead of the more traditional cake. I also watched the movie secret window. it was quite the film nothing however to compair to any thing M Nite Shamalan or how ever you spell his name, has ever composed. oh the other thing i have learned is that one should never lisson to simple plan while going through a brake up. that was a mistake. wow i am desperate for entertainment i am watching beast master. this is really quite sad. well any ways that is about all that i have for now. by by
joint us next time and hear the confused Aerosmith fan say " so it is dude looks like a lady not do it like a lady? man now i feel dumb" ye i sung it wrong for 4 years. |
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| yaun... smack smack. |
[Jul. 22nd, 2004|12:59 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | must keep eyes open | ] |
| [ | music |
| | modist mouse. (on conan o' brian) | ] |
well it is getting late. i am almost done with my class. after this i will need to get a job. i do not know what job i will be getting but i do know that i need to get one so do keep that i prayers. Oh i have had fun with deck building today. this being magic the gathering of course. well all i must do now is wait for Danial to come back. he is a wonderful person to just talk to. i had a couple of things that i needed to bounce off of him. the supply of jones is out but that is not permanent. i think that next week i will alleviat that. well i have nothing further to converse about so i must say good night.
join us next time and hear the mute say ".................." |
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| and the beat goes on |
[Jul. 20th, 2004|12:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  school school | ] |
| [ | music |
| | AC DC back in black album | ] |
well life is going on. today is the second day of my classes. wow i have never had an easer class in my life. all i have as a grade is one exam on friday and one essay question is worth 50% of the test. the question being " how does Romans make a difference in your ministry and in your life." the only problem with the class is that it is from 8:00 am to 4:30 pm and i don't care what it is about after 4 hours anything would become boring. any ways i was sitting in class and my mind began to wonder. so this day i have a one later of DP and sunflower seeds so that i will stay awake.
i am working though the brake up stuff so do not worry. and that is all i will say on that. i think i have flooded this sight with enough of my personal life i hope that it dosen't annoy any one. any ways that is how my life is going.
join us next time and hear the musk rat say " hay what is that smell?" ok so that is not funny in the least but hay i cant be funny all the time, in fact i am happy to be funny some of the time if ever. |
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| a molment of scilence |
[Jul. 19th, 2004|12:12 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  a molment of sciience | ] |
| [ | music |
| | none it is scilence | ] |
before starting i would like to warn you that this is not spell checked through it is very inportnet to me. it was first of all late in the evening and second it was a bit to lengthy for me to go over it for the sake of perfection.
A Somber Day
by
Gabriel M. N. Vadney
the air is sweet with the sent of freschly cut flowers that litter the graves on a hot summer afternoon. the ground is still moiste with the remains of the erlear rain. as all seems so quiet there remains one plot where a group of people regailed in black have gathered to witness a sollem event. tan lon chairs stand ready in roes for the beloveds serviving relatives to see there loved one just one last time. under the canapy people have formed and wate with bated breath as an elderly pasture clad in all black take the pulpit just over looking the gaping hole that so gently embraces a polished pine wood casket. the old pasture clears his throught and begins to speek.
" Loved ones we gather here to day to lay to rest the relationship between a G Nicolas Vadney and an Amy Nemiear. it was but a young five monthes three days and twelve hours when the good Lord saw fit to take it from this place." ecowing sniffels accuponied by a trickel of tears cut through the scilence that loomed over the down cast croud. the Pasture composes himself and then precieds.
" It was by mutual concent that boath parties saw fit to take it off its suportes. but fear not for this is not the end. from the flower that was once a romantic relation ship there still blooms the sweet blossem of frind ship. for now we must greve and we shail in deed miss that which was once with us. but as the good book sais all things work for the good of those who love him. and i know that these two sitting here cair very much for the Lord." the pastures sweeping hand jestures to a young man and a young woman who now with tear filled eyes look solemly at the pine wood box heaving a heart felt sigh.
" but loved ones i tell you through you shed tears there will come a time soon where you will not cry. no i tell you that this will grow into a time of rejoicing. for with the death of this entoment relaitonship you have the chance to now grow. a chance to see the world in different eyes. for now you are sad but i tell you the truth that this is not for ever and in fact it is sweeping like the wind and will soon pass."
both the young man and young woman stood in quiet soberness and each cast a single red rose onto the coffen as it was lowered to its final resting place. in place fot the read roses that they through thay were each given a pure crisp wite rose. at the lowering of the coffen the old pasture spoke but one last time.
" to day, this lords day i dedicate the romantic relaitonship of these to into your cair once again. for it was a gift from you own hands and now into thoes hads we return it. for it is only by your grace Lord that we could partake in such an event and now that it is passed it is only by your grace that we shall continue. so this on the ninetheenth day of the seventh month of the year of are lord two thousend and four we dedicate this life back to you and in the ground we shail leave it but in your hands it shail be taken. we shail never forget the time that was shaired and the experience but in the wake of such loss we will not let this cloud are futcher but instead be a wise teacher for times to come." with these final words the pasture gently closed the worne bible and placing his armes around the two that stood infront of the grave, each clasping a wight rose as tears rolled down there cheeks, he bowed his head and each took the sign and in unasen thay all boued.
" dear Lord we commit this day to you areselves. who we are and nothing more. we commit to be only who we are and we commit to treat others as we would have then treat us. Lord we know that the past is just that the past and that we must press on to the futcher. I know that for these two it will be heard in the begining but I know that for your sake thay will take hold of the wonderfull like that you have given them and see it through to the end. Lord there are many things that we do not understand in this world. but we know that you are in controle. it is in your hand that we have come to trust in your name we humaly pray. Amen."
with that said the croud slowly dispersed. back to there normal lives thay went. i should know for i am that young man and this day i have dedicated every thing back up to him who gave it. i know that this will be hard for me. and that change does not come esoly. but then again change is a nassesity. and with this wite rose in hand i shail walk on in life and that is that. in the ground my past lies. not as if a bad thing but as just that my past. i will never for get those times for thay are scribed on my heart and i have only fond memories of my time with Amy. and now the dawning of one relaitonship and the birth of a new. for i have a grand adventure ahead of me just bing the frind of Amy i will have you know that it will be quite the adventure indeed.
( no longer in caricture) well folks the short is that my dear girlfriend and i broke up. I know that this is some what of a shock to some of you but i will have you know that it was on completly mutal terms. we both agreed to this and came to this conclusion. and we are still good friends. ture it will be a bit ackword in the futcher but then again i think that we can over come that as well. any ways.....
join us next time to hear the old pasture say " come on boys put your back into it the man dint way that much. besides we have a pully system for crying out loud."
yours truly Gabriel Matthias Nicolas Vadney. |
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| well ok |
[Jul. 14th, 2004|11:51 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  i cant take this any more | ] |
i had a journal entry up for about 2 minits but deleted it. i do not know what to say or what to do right now and i frankly cant concive any out come. i know that the is in the lords had but that is all. for now i am not ranting nor should i. if i rant it will not make the situaiton better. all i can say is Floggen Molly's CD Swaggered Number three. that is all that i will say and that explains every thing. ok well that is all that i can say and not be jaded so if this poste makes no scence sorry but the other one that was up was just bitter.
join us next time to hear the man frought in darkness say "well heck i cant even see my own dang hand how the heck then am i to get out of this" |
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| when the world truns upside down. |
[Jul. 13th, 2004|10:37 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  the word is blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | dead scilence ( in the library) | ] |
well i was debating weather to write this post or not. there have been troubles between me and Amy. I am a person who i have come to find is very out of the loop and Amy is one who does not let on when things are wrong. when those two combine you can imagin how things seem to just explode. I for the moste part never see things comming. well the last 3 weeks have been a constent beroshe for me. i do not know if i am comming or going. I will say that i do infact love Amy. i do not always know what i am to do or what things mean, but that does not nullify the fact that i do love her. however things have not been well. I dont know if i can explain it or not or if i can place it in any words that would even give some simbolence of what is going on for i my self know not what to think. Mark this however, The Lord is in controle. I have very little that i can precividly do about all that is encercoling the relationship at this time but i know that the Lords will shail previal.
I had a good weekend. i was a winy face about some things but it was good. i was able to see Kara again and of course Matt as well. we had fun strugling to get a roof on a kinnel, and we overly reworded for are labors. the service was good but i must admit that at the time i did not cair. i was in a mood. any ways it was quite fun espesoly the mall.
well i am in a sort of radio silence with Amy now. i do not like it but then again i have always been the one ot initeate conversations and the like and now i must wait for her to call. i will not lie this is a bit maddoning for me but if it will help the relationship i will give it a try. besides i have gaind a lot from stepping out of the fray of things and being able to look back and see once again why i love her. i supose that through all the squabiling that has taken place as of recent i had grown mainly tired of the relation ship. it had seemed that it was one thing after another. the majority of thign i would never understand. but now that i am out of the line of fire i must admit that things are in a better light.
well any ways enought about that. i have completed the main portion of editing to one of the peaces that i am sumitting to the writing compitition and all i need to do now is to put it up for comments. I cannot do this because my lap top is in beeing worked on at the molment. I will try to put it up, oh say friday.
join us next time and hear the confused prospecter say " ok ok so were in a cave in dont worry lets just wait here for a cave out and then we will be fine."
ps this is not spell checked all the way due to the fact that there is to much to fix an i am on a time skedual today |
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| good night |
[Jul. 3rd, 2004|12:40 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  one written three to go | ] |
| [ | music |
| | laughter ( the hard mix) | ] |
well i do not usually poste more then one a night. but this night i have had a realy good day. thing are going better then most nights. i just got done writing the rough draft for one of the peace that i am summiting into the writing contest. also i had the funniest experience this night. Austin wanted to grill the rest of the hamburger meat to night but we had no liter fluid. but this was not going to stop Austin no my friend in the end he used the bad of the charcoal to light it. in fact he lit the coal with no lighter fluid at all. it took about an hour to get the flame lighted. all was fun we had a game of risk. i won for the first time in my life. it was fun. then we sat around and read articles from the onion and laughed are eyes. out. there has never been a better way to end a day then this my friend.
well join us next time and here the grumpy old charcoal say " wheres the beef". |
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| the morning after |
[Jul. 2nd, 2004|10:08 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | need to write!! | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Brave Heart the movie | ] |
well we had the cook out that we had all ben planing. Austin was the one who i think all the thanks goes out to. he worked so hard. it was quite the party. there were a few bumps here and there but other then that we had a grand celebration. i must admit however that we had more attending then we had originally hoped for. in are original plan we only had ten people on the list. if you have ever seen are house ten people is quite enough. however we had in the end around twenty. people were having to park in the apartment parking lot that stood only a block from are house. we all watched Robin Williams and Eddy Izzered. i must admit that i enjoyed Eddy more then Mr. Williams. i was astounded at how much Robin Williams curses. i recall watching it with Jason but i suppose that i didn't focus on the cursing. when we watched it again i was offended and i believe that i may have offended other with it. i hope that this is not true. well today is a writing day. i hope to have some of the peaces that i am entering completed or at least a rough draft. well i must go and seclude my self away from humanity so by by. |
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| beef its whats for dinner. |
[Jul. 1st, 2004|01:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | party party | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the humm of my own minde over reacting | ] |
well it is another day here at the house. i have bought soul caliber not but a few days ago. in this experience i have learned that money is not my friend because it seems to flee from me. any ways, to night we hare having a big cook out. this will help to take my mind of missing amy while she is away. it is not that bad but every now and then. any ways enough of that. i have just learned that the dead line for the contest is Augest 5 which makes me very happy. i have more time then i thought. though i cant just sit around and waist it. well i have justen over and we are going to play magic. so by by. |
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| beeing unemployed stinks |
[Jun. 30th, 2004|01:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  vegging | ] |
| [ | music |
| | celtic | ] |
here i sit in front of the tv rotting my mind away. i need a job. oh hello, my name is Gabe. i know that i am new to this but you may know me because i am Mcducks room mate. any ways I am an upcoming writer. how long it is un tell i surface is not known. oh one thing that is cool is that the writing guild here in Abilene is having a writing competition. i cant wait. i am entering at least 4 different category's. each category has a cash prize. 100 dollars for first place i think that it si 70 then 40. i hope to get to writing soon. any ways this is the first time i have written here in this journal i hope that i have done well. oh later i may add some stories that i write in this segment monthly. oh by the way if any one wants me to write any thing then just send me the information and i will do that as well. it gives me practice. any ways hi to all and i will give more info later. |
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beezulbub's journal